sounds like that from my childhood
by esmeaplatt
Summary: "I remember sounds like that from my childhood, laughter from no cause, simply because the world is beautiful, something like that" - Louise Gluck, from Vita Nova


**sounds like that of my childhood**

* * *

_"I remember sounds that from my childhood, laughter from no cause, simply because the world is beautiful, something like that"  
_\- Louise Gluck, from Vita Nova

* * *

"Okay, my turn." Carlisle said, running his fingers through her hair as she rested her head on his lap. "Let me see…first kiss?"

Esme thought about it for a moment. "I was either fifteen or sixteen."

"Young."

"Anything would be young compared to you! Not all of us wanted to wait until we were 281 years old." She teased, squeezing the hand that she held in hers over her stomach.

"I was waiting for you." Carlisle continued to play with her hair. "Who was the lucky young man?"

Esme was quiet for a moment before sitting up and then turning to face him. "Can I tell you a secret?"

"You can tell me anything. You know that."

Esme nodded and fiddled with her hands nervously. "Her name was Mary."

The surprise on his face was evident. "Her?"

"Yeah." Esme nodded, her voice quiet as she carefully took one of his hands in both of hers.

He ran his thumb over her knuckles. "Will you tell me about her?"

She looked down at their hands, unable to stop herself from smiling softly. "She was gorgeous. Tall with this beautiful blonde hair." Esme murmured. "We were best friends for years before it happened. It was just for practice she'd told me. But I- Carlisle, I was so smitten with her."

"Yeah?"

Esme nodded, smiling at her husband's immediate acceptance. There were a lot of people out there that would think her insane, husbands that would toss their wives onto the street for such a confession. "I was heartbroken when she told me that she'd started seeing a boy that lived down the street. I knew we never could have been anything real. It was 1905 and we were in the middle of Ohio but I…"

"You hoped."

"I did." She murmured, lifting her hand to play with the hair at his temple.

"What happened to her after that?"

"She got married when we were seventeen and moved out to New York City. She came back to town just once after leaving- for my wedding." Esme smiled sadly. "She hated him. Said he was all wrong for me."

Esme kept playing with his hair, the memories of her first love making her heart flutter.

"So, you've always liked blondes?" Carlisle asked after a moment, a teasing grin on his face.

Esme laughed and pushed gently at his shoulder. "You would have liked her. She was so smart. Charming. She taught me how to do that little trick I do with my tongue that you love oh so much."

"I'm in her debt, then."

Esme laughed again, shifting forward to situate herself on his lap. She wrapped her arms loosely around his neck as she leaned in to nudge her nose against his. "I taught her a thing or two as well."

* * *

The next time they discussed Mary, nearly fifty years had gone by. It was 1968- their lives had changed considerably since that day spent telling stories on the couch of their home in Ashland, Wisconsin. They had an entire family, Esme a thriving career just as Carlisle did.

"She's dying." Esme whispered, her hands shaking just slightly as she returned the telephone to the receiver.

"I'm so sorry, Esme." Carlisle said softly, walking around the side of his desk to wrap a comforting arm around his wife.

She turned into his chest, burying her face against the material of his shirt to breathe in his scent and will the sobs she could feel creeping up away. She snaked her arm around his waist and squeezed her eyes closed.

Carlisle rubbed his hand up and down her back and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. "This is one of the hardest parts." He whispered into her hair- watching the humans they got to know and love get older and then dying.

"I wish- I want to see her. Just one more time." Esme breathed, lifting her head to look at him. "She'd never tell anyone."

Carlisle sighed softly. "Esme…" Her eyes were locked on his, practically begging him.

"Please."

She didn't need his permission to do anything but he knew that she'd never do it if he or anyone else in the family protested. That's how families work- love and compromise. Perhaps, he decided as he held her gaze, it was time that he compromised. Could he really deny her this? Deny her the chance to say goodbye to her first love, to one of the very few humans that ever gave her the love that she deserved.

"Okay," Carlisle breathed. "I'll call the hospital and request some time off."

Esme gasped softly and nearly knocked him over with the force of her hug. Her fingers tangled into the material of his sweater as she whispered to him. "Thank you."

A few days later, Carlisle and Esme walked hand in hand up the front steps of Mary's townhouse in the Bronx.

Esme let out a little breath, looking down at her outfit. She smoothed out the fabric of the skirt of her dress, her nervous hands moving over the black and white plaid material. She fiddled with the collar next and then moved down to the three large buttons that went down the center of his chest.

"You look lovely, Es." Carlisle said softly, smiling when she lifted her eyes to his. "Are you ready?"

When Esme nodded he rang the doorbell. After a few minutes, the door opened and a young nurse smiled tiredly at them.

"Hello." Carlisle said, a polite smile on his face as he lifted his medical bag just slightly. "I'm Dr. Cullen."

"Oh! Great!" The woman exclaimed, stepping to the side so that they could walk inside. "My boss told me that you'd be coming to take over Mrs. Houghton's care."

Carlisle held his hand out and shook the woman's hand. The poor young human- Sarah was entranced by the vampires in her presence. It took her a moment to recover after shaking their hands.

"I can, um, her medical history is listed here." Sarah told Carlisle after leading them both into the kitchen and hanging him a folder. "She's resting now. Dr. Roth said it was only a matter of time."

Carlisle nodded as he skimmed the contents of the folder. "She's not sick." He noted.

"No, she's not. She's just…73 years old. Her time is coming and she knows it." Sarah explained. "It's unfortunate. She's a very kind woman."

Sarah explained where to find anything they may need before gathering her things and leaving, giving them her telephone number just in case they needed anything.

Carlisle went in to greet Esme's old friend first. Esme listened as Carlisle introduced himself and Mary did the same. They exchanged pleasantries, soft banter as he checked her vitals.

"I have someone here who would very much like to see you." Esme heard Carlisle say. "She's an old friend of yours and what you see may be a bit startling but I need you to try to stay calm."

Esme heard Mary's soft voice agree and then Carlisle's speak up again.

"You can come in, love."

The vampire hesitated just briefly before carefully pushing the door open and stepping into the bedroom. The sight in front of her was nearly startling- her friend was no longer the young girl that she'd fallen in love with all those years ago. The lines on her cheeks and crinkles at the corners of her eyes painted the picture of a happy life while her dark brown eyes held the same brightness they'd always had. Her beautiful blonde hair had turned to a white that would put clouds to shame.

"Esme?" Mary murmured in disbelief. "You can't possibly-"

"Let me explain." Esme said just as softly, stepping up to her bedside. She took a seat at Mary's hip and reached for the hand the was resting over the comforter. "What I have to tell you- it will sound crazy. Completely insane but I promise that it's the truth."

At Mary's tentative nod, Esme delved into the explanation for her eternal youth. She told her of her supernatural lifestyle, the way she and Carlisle clutched their morality close in feeding on animals instead of people.

Esme should have known that she'd take the information with absolute grace. She'd always been so open-minded, so believing in everything. The two of them used to lay in the grass at night and count stars, discussing the names of the little creatures they were certain lived on the moon.

"A vampire." Mary breathed, shaking her head just slightly. "I might have known that you would run off and become a mythical creature."

Carlisle laughed at that which caused both women to look in his direction.

"You're the one who did this to my Esme?"

"Don't be so hard on him." Esme said, her cold thumb moving soothingly over Mary's arthritic knuckles. "He saved my life."

Mary looked back at her, her eyes softening. She shifted slightly to make room for Esme who settled against the headboard beside her. "Tell me everything. I want to know everything. The last thing I heard was that you were missing. I thought that son of a bitch murdered you."

Before Esme could respond, Carlisle leaned down to press a kiss to the top of her head. "I'm going to run out to the store to pick up some groceries for dinner tonight."

Esme looked up at him and smiled softly. "Okay."

Carlisle gave Mary a smile before leaving for the store to give them a few minutes alone.

"He's a looker." Mary teased.

Esme hummed in agreement, turning her attention back to her.

"Is he good to you?"

"He's incredible. More than I deserve, I'm sure."

From the front porch as he left, Esme could hear his soft growl of protest.

"He's lucky to have you." Mary assured her, squeezing her hand. "Tell me your story and then I'll tell you mine."

Esme gave a little nod, looking down at their hands. She moved her thumb along Mary's wedding band. "You were right about Charles. He was- he beat me." She told her friend the story in full instead of omitting the especially gruesome details as she often did. The only other people who knew the worst of what she'd endured were Carlisle and Edward- the later only knowing because of his gift. "It got worse when he returned from the war. My parents refused to help me so I endured it for a a few more years until I got pregnant. I ran after I found out."

Mary listened intently as she Esme told the story of her escape, of the trains and tiny bedrooms in the homes of her cousin and then kind strangers. She told her of keeping the curtains drawn and dressing in layers. She told her of the silly hats she'd worn in an attempt at hiding her face.

Esme couldn't help but smile as she spoke of her sweet students and then of her angel baby. "He was so beautiful, Mary. He had the cutest little nose that he'd scrunch up when he was angry."

Mary smiled too, tears in her eyes. "He knew how loved he was." She murmured. "He could feel it just like I can feel it."

Esme's lip trembled slightly, nodding a little. "I hope so. I loved him so much. When he died…it was the final straw for me. He was all I had left and I just- I couldn't take anymore hurt so I- I jumped off of a cliff."

"Oh, Esme…"

She shook her head. "Someone found me and rushed me to the hospital but by the time we arrived I was so close to death that they just put me in the morgue. That's where Carlisle found me. He remembered me from when I broke my leg and said he couldn't let the bright young girl he'd known die so young."

"So he bit you?"

"Yeah."

"Where?"

"My neck."

"Can I see?"

Esme pulled her hair to the side and turned to face Mary. She tugged the collar of her dress away from her neck so that she could see the silver scars.

"I expected something more…graphic." Mary said as she ran a gently finger over the scars.

"Carlisle was careful. He knew what he was doing."

"Tell me what it was like." Mary asked her, unable to contain her curious excitement.

Esme fixed her hair and returned to her spot against the headboard. "Later. Tell me what I've missed in your life." She took Mary's hand in hers again. "What happened after we last spoke?"

"Richard left his job in Manhattan. We moved out here and then I found out that I was pregnant."

Esme smiled. "How many children did you have?"

"Two."

"Wow. Tell me about them."

"Richard Jr. was our firstborn. He was born in 1921- the same summer as your little one." She said softly. "The next summer we Anne was born and named after her aunt Esme Anne."

"You named her after me?"

"I did. You were my best friend."

The two of them talked for what seemed like hours. The story of her friend's life was beautiful, filled the love and happiness that she'd always deserved.

"Richard died last year."

"I'm so sorry. I can't imagine."

"You didn't like him." Mary said with a laugh.

"I did too!" Esme exclaimed, a smile on her face. "He was good for you."

"You turned him down when he asked you to dance at our wedding reception!"

Esme shrugged nonchalantly. "I didn't want to dance."

"I seem to remember you dancing with every other man and woman in the building."

Esme laughed loudly at that because her friend was right- she'd accepted every other dance invitation that night. It wasn't even that she'd disliked Richard, she'd just been jealous. Jealous that he got to openly love Mary, jealous that he was marrying her first love.

"Richard was good man." Esme said softly. "I'm glad that he was good to you."

"He really was." Mary said with a yawn.

"You should rest." Esme murmured. "We can talk some more when you wake up."

"Promise you'll be here?"

"I promise."

Mary nodded and laid back down against her pillow. Esme sat beside her, running her cold fingers through Mary's hair. It didn't take long for Mary to drift off to sleep beside her.

Esme watched her, the rise and fall of her chest. Her heartbeat was steady, strong as she slept.

A few minutes went by before Carlisle stepped back into the room, giving Esme a smile. "How is she?"

"She was tired so I told her to take a nap."

Carlisle nodded and took a seat in one of the armchairs settled against the wall in Mary's room. Esme watched her friend for a moment before walking over to her husband, lowering herself onto his lap. He wrapped his arm around her back, holding her close as she wrapped her arm around his neck and rested her head against his.

"Thank you for this." She whispered. "I missed her."

Carlisle ran his hand up and down her back. "Don't thank me. I'm glad that the two of you have this chance to reconnect."

Mary and Carlisle became quick friends over the following days, spending their time teasing and exchanging stories about Esme.

"She fell right into the pig pen!"

"No!" Carlisle gasped, grinning as he looked back at his wife who had her hands over her face in embarrassment.

"Yes! I had to drag her over to a pond to wash the pig shit out of her hair." Mary wrapped her arm around Esme's shoulders. "Do you remember that day? We had to throw all your clothes away and sneak you naked in through your bedroom window."

Esme smiled, her voice soft. "We had our first kiss that night."

"We did. I said we needed to practice in case a boy asked us to go on a walk with them."

Out of the corner of her eye, she caught sight of Carlisle standing to check Mary's vitals again as they spoke. He poured some medicine into a small cup and handed it to Mary who drank it quickly before taking the glass of water he held out for her.

Carlisle smiled and stepped out of the room to rinse the cups. Esme smiled as she watched him go.

"He's a good doctor."

"He is." Esme agreed.

"I'm lucky to have the two of you here to keep me company. Not many old ladies get to spend their final days with her gorgeous vampire best friend and a handsome doctor."

Esme laughed. "You're gorgeous."

Mary huffed softly, gesturing to Esme's body. "You look like a supermodel and I'm laying here with white hair."

The vampire reached out to touch Mary's hair, tucking the soft strands back behind her ear. "White suits you."

Esme held Mary's eyes for a moment, hearing the sound of Mary's heart increase just slightly.

"You know, Esme, I was really quite fond of those nights we shared together. Our kisses." She whispered.

Esme hesitated a second, her voice just as soft. "I was in love with you."

Mary took Esme's hand and smiled down at the cold hand in her hands. She had lovely memories with those hands. They'd been warmer years ago as they moved through hair. "I know."

The next evening, Esme was laying beside Mary in bed. She had her arm around her as Mary slept, her fingers raking through her hair.

"Esme?" Carlisle said as he stepped into the room. He'd been on the phone with the kids for a while as Mary slept.

She looked at him, raising her eyebrows in question.

"That was Alice." He said softly, walking over to sit at Esme's side on the bed.

Esme was silent for a moment before holding Mary closer and meeting his eyes. "When?" Esme whispered.

"Tomorrow evening."

Carlisle rubbed Esme's back as she held Mary close. The two of them listened to Mary's steady breaths and watched the rise and fall of her chest.

"Do we tell her?"

"Alice said you'd already made up your mind about that."

"I want to tell her. She should know so that she can call her kids and anyone else she wants to say goodbye to."

The next morning, Esme sat by her side as Mary called her children to tell them that she was dying. They told her that they would catch the next flight out but both vampires and Mary knew they'd never make it in time.

Esme clutched her hand as Mary cried for her crying babies, promising them that she loved them more than anything else. She made them promise to take care of each other, to kiss her grandbabies for her.

That night, Mary laid in the center of her bed with Esme at her side. Carlisle was doing his best to keep the woman comfortable in her final moments.

"Esme, I need you to do something for me." Mary murmured as she shifted onto her side.

Esme ran her fingers through Mary's hair gently. "Anything."

"Look out for Richard Jr. and Anne? I know you can't have a relationship with them but if you could just- just make sure that they're doing okay."

"I will. I promise."

Mary smiled gratefully and then held out her hand for Carlisle as he walked around to the side of the bed to take a seat at Esme's hip to face the woman.

"And you, doctor," Mary smiled weakly. "you take care of my girl. If I find out otherwise, I'll haunt you."

Carlisle laughed softly, reaching over to rest his palm over Esme and Mary's clasped hands. "I will, Mary. I promise."

"Mary?" Esme whispered. "If you see my son…"

"I'll take good care of him. I'll tell him all about his mama."

The three of them sat together in silence for what seemed like hours to the human but mere moments to the vampires. Her breathing became more labored, her heartbeat different than Esme had become accustomed to.

"I love you." Esme whispered.

"I love you too."

Another beat of silence took place before Esme whispered again. "I'll miss you."

"To be loved by an immortal means that I too will live forever. A part of me lives within your heart, Esme. You'll never be rid of me."

"I'd never want to be."

Mary slipped peacefully out of their world in the middle of her night. One moment her heart had been beating, her lungs full of air and then next, there was nothing.

Esme closed her eyes and held her friend closer, clutching her close for as the moments ticked by. She thought back to their youth, to the sunny days spent by the river, to the soft kisses they'd exchanged in the shadows of her family's cornfield. Mary had consumed her gently but thoroughly, changing her for the better. It was through her that she learned what it meant to love, how she knew she'd never loved her first husband, how she'd known that she was in love with Carlisle.

She could see them so clearly. They were young, their skin tanned from the days spent in the sun. Mary's hair had always been neat and tidy. It smelled sweeter than any flower Esme had ever smelled. Esme had loved to run her fingers through it, reveling in the way her fingers glided through the strands. Her own hair had always been unruly and full of tangles. Her curls seemed to attract the attention of leaves and twigs that Mary picked out with fondness.

A dry sob escaped, Esme's shoulders shaking with it. "No…"

"I'm so sorry, love." Carlisle murmured.

Esme lifted her head to look at him, reluctantly letting go of Mary to turn and bury her face against Carlisle's chest. He held her close, kissing the top of her head. She clung tightly to him, whimpering as the silence of a still human heart surrounded them.

"I wish I could cry for her." Esme whimpered. "She deserves tears."

Carlisle held Esme for hours as she mourned the death of her friend and then after some time, Carlisle left Esme with Mary to make the arrangements. They had her body taken away, the funeral planned and paid for in a matter of hours.

Carlisle and Esme wrote checks for her children, leaving it as if it was from their late mother. They knew that they couldn't take care of Richard and Anne in the traditional sense but their wealth gave them the ability to make sure that her children wanted for nothing after the death of their parents.

They arrived to the viewing before anyone else. Carlisle stood by the door as he watched his wife approach the casket. She leaned down and kissed Mary's forehead before stroking her hair for the very last time.


End file.
